MY LIMITING BELIEFS

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.

Some come from ahead and some come from behind.

But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

- Dr. Seuss

Turning your life open to a public forum is not always the wisest of decisions, and in today's world, who knows how people perceive what you say, it's all filtered through our individual experiences anyway.  As those of you who read this writing on a regular basis know, I am working extraordinarily hard to expand my comfort zone, and grow.  Now, it's not an altruistic growth that I'm seeking to capture; I am looking to improve myself in areas that directly affect my ability to advance my career and business enterprises.  The funny thing is, my personal short comings, things that many would believe are more about emotional or "personal life," are some of the biggest obstacles to my success in entrepreneurship and business growth.  I believe we often think that the two are separate, but when you are truly trying to build your own company, your own organization, it goes part and parcel with the person - the limitations you place on yourself are the same limitations you place on your success in business.

One of the activities I'm tackling right now is to identify two limiting beliefs that are holding me back in life.  This is not an easy task, but perhaps not for the reasons you may believe.  Identifying a limiting belief is like using a match to find a needle in a hay stack.  It might work, but things are going to get hot quickly.  As I dig deep down, and look for those things that keep me from achieving all of my goals and dreams, I find some smoldering embers.  Embers that no one likes to rekindle, that are best left to burn at a low temp.  Again, the problem is, if I want to become the person I know I can be, the person that I dream of being, I have to face my character defects, let them blaze, and find the courage to take on that fire.

On first look, as I cruised down the dawning road on my drive to work, I started to see some of the limiting beliefs that were holding me back.  Looking out across the cornfields the first thing to sprout in my head was, that I'm not tough enough, I'm not manly enough, and in order to be successful in business you must be hard and tough with people.  I've always felt that I was too soft, and have often been accused of being slightly effeminate.  In my mind, buried deep in implanted stereotypes, men are tough and demand what they want.  I scribbled frantically on the yellow legal pad to my right, trying to not swerve into the snow covered corn stub stalks or go head on into on coming traffic, as this ancient belief comes rising to the surface.  

Where was this belief instilled?  Why do hold on to it so tightly?  This can't be healthy.  I've been told most of my life that I'm sensitive and caring, that I express myself well.  While this may true, I certainly don't see it as an asset.  I often feel weak due to this quality.  The fact is, somewhere along the lines, I linked up manliness to being tough, strong, fit, demanding, even a bit rough.  And, I am not any of those qualities.  At least not that I can see.

My left hand on the wheel, my elbow on the window ledge of my car, the sun popping up over the horizon, I felt a bit woozy, like I had just uncorked a Genie that I didn't want any part of seeing.  Unfortunately, you can't close the tab on an open can of shook pop, so the other limitations began to flow.

I began to see that I hold the limiting belief that talking to new people is painful, and they always see me as weak.  The internal monologue fires up and I immediately think: I don't have anything of value to offer to people, I'm not interesting, nor can I sustain a new conversation.  In other words, it scares the crap out of me to talk with new people.  I can't even begin to describe how horribly this internal monologue is going to negatively impact my business, and networking abilities!

I almost had to laugh, as those thoughts came bubbling to the surface of my mind.  On some levels I feel so confident.  As I hammer away on these keys I feel like I'm Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone.  The funniest part of all of this is that I love speaking and talking in front of large groups of people.  I get juiced to stand up and hold court with a room full of people.  It is the intimate 1 on 1 conversation with a new person that eludes me, that makes me feel "less than."

My left leg bounces quickly on the ground, not to any beat, but rather like a woodpecker against a tree.  I often wonder if I have adult ADD.  I know I have many other limiting beliefs, and it will be my pleasure to share how I break through those limiting beliefs.