COMMIT OR DON'T, IT'S YOUR CHOICE

“A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.” - Ayn Rand

Frankly, commitment is hard. Most people fail miserably at their commitments or do them so haphazardly that they can hardly be considered a commitment. How do I know this – through extensive research? Not hardly. Experience has taught me that commitment is frightening, and we are prone to stretching ourselves to thin or not cultivating the burning desire necessary to sustain the commitment.

However, over the years I have developed a growing ability to see those necessary components to holding to commitments. When I was a smoker, I would often quit, try hard, but fail to sustain my non-smoking life for some reason or excuse. It came to pass that what I was missing was the “fire” to stay quit. As a behavior and habit that is so ingrained in the everyday actions of a person, it is almost essential to relearn everything I’ve done with smoking without it being present. This is a very daunting task.

We weave our emotions in with certain commitments, and leave it out of others. If we look closely at the commitments we keep, we will find that they are saddled with emotion – that we have connected ourselves intimately with the “need” or desire to do stay focused.

The funny think about quitting a habit like smoking, our any other addiction for that matter, is that logic is one of the poorest motivators for stopping. Logically speaking, no one would ever choose to smoke, choose to do drugs, to choose to be an alcoholic. It doesn’t make sense. However, these horrible commitments are often died for, and fought for with a reservoir of energy that most healthy people don't put into any are of their life! For most people who lack the ability to commit to a change or to adopt a new way of thinking, it is essential to form an emotional bond with the change. More importantly, this bond must not be based on another’s needs, it must be personal. How many times did I say, “I should quit smoking for my kids’ sake? I want them to have a healthy father as they grow up.”

I wasn’t ever going to release myself from a negative behavior, or commitment, until I did it for myself. I wasn’t going to create a lasting change until I saw how I as a person was being limited in my life from this commitment.

Lasting commitment, in anything we try to remove, change, add or become a part of, comes when the following criteria are successfully defined:

1. What is the pain I associate with not committing

2. What is the pleasure I receive by not committing

3. What is the cost (short term and long term) to not committing

4. What will I gain (in all areas of my life) by committing

Now this is not revolutionary thinking or questioning, in fact it’s not even mine, (thanks A.R.) however, sometimes we just need to see it reframed from a different perspective, in order to understand.

Whatever it is that we decide to commit to, we need to take action steps to make whatever it is happen. To simply say that we want “X” to happen means nothing; it is only when we make a choice and take action to realize that “X” that things begin to change.

My aim here isn’t to give anyone a road map or give them all of the little nuances to making a change in their life. My aim is simply to help people understand that they can make a choice. I am not a guru or spiritual leader, nor am I an expert in what motivates people to more from apathy to action.

What I am experiencing in my life is a total change of direction. I have often viewed myself as an active participant, living an active life. I woke up, or rather I was woken up to the fact that survival, or just getting by, is not a way to live. I don’t have simply “just make it.” I can do anything, and I can change my direction and circumstance at any given moment. Not that it will change over-night; however, the pieces of my vision for myself will begin to fit themselves into the mental condition that I choose. I firmly believe that we choose what we experience in life. We create our present circumstance on what we attract through our thinking, and translate it through our actions.

Yes, life happens, but I do not need to be run over by it or dominated by it. All of the curve balls, and brush back pitches only make me more focused on the hanging breaking ball sitting like a meatball in the middle of the plate, waiting for me to knock the snot out of it. Sure, I may get knocked down, but I’m just as sure to dust myself off – I’m committed to my at bat – are you?

I choose to commit to a brighter self, a bright more economically bountiful future. I choose to grow, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I choose to be an even more attentive father, husband, and son. I will do those things that take me to higher joys of living. I won’t be saddled by doubt or fear, I will cultivate prosperity.

Until next time…be well and live inspired,

Michael
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