Saturday, August 7, 2010
6:25am
Where? My mind.
It's interesting the internal monologue that each of uses on a daily basis, and I use the word uses very liberally, most of us don't use our internal monologue, but rather are controlled by this negative part of our psyche. The internal monologue is the conversation that occurs between your ears. It is the voice that is constantly pecking at you, and directing your actions. It is the you that most people never see, and most likely don't want to see. In an ideal world our internal monologue would be our greatest champion, it would believe anything is possible, and constantly tell you to go for it. As a kid our internal monologue is quiet, it's there, but it's pretty much in sync with who we are - it says lets have some fun, and we have some fun; it says we can do anything, and we believe that we can do anything (even hang upside down from branches in trees that are 20 feet up! Or fly space ships to distant galaxies named after famous thinkers! What adult would do that?)
Ultimately our internal monologue gets more sophisticated as we develop, and that is the problem. It begins to limit us, and tell us that we can't do something versus we can do anything. It becomes our biggest critic versus our biggest advocate. If you think about it logically, wouldn't you like your internal self talk to tell you something positive instead of constantly telling you how ugly you are, how fat you are, how poor and broke you are, how stupid you are, how you shouldn't try, how you'll never be good enough, how you're never going to find happiness or love. Why do we allow such an intricate part of who we are remain so negative and run our lives?
A family member recently responded to something I wrote about my job and my new business by saying the following, "Dude no offense but they call it work for a reason and its not what you love to do. Someone once told me if you love what you do then your not working hard enough. Dan Sainz millionaire!!!" I'm not sure exactly what he was trying to prove, other than he has been programed to believe that you're not working unless you're angry or resentful. His internal monologue is so negative that he can't help but be affected by a positive message or statement about work. I believe in working smarter not harder. Just because I can work an 18 hour day doesn't mean I should; and quite frankly during the school year I work 18 hours days, and I don't like it - it pulls me away from spending time with my family and friends.
Our internal monologue is shaped as we grow, and is heavily influenced by who and what plugs into us, and programs us - our parents, our family, our teachers, our TV habits, our music... All of these people sat at the keyboard in our mind and hammered away on our keys - they told you what you were worth, they told you what to value, what de-value, what to like and what to hate, etc. etc.
It is amazing that as adults, and "independent" people, to realize just how much we are still controlled by the voice that was programmed into us so long ago (or not so long ago depending on how old you are.) It's amazing that so many of us accept this voice as an unchangeable immutable force and piece of who we are. I remember when I was in my twenties, out there (and I mean out there,) and I was using alcohol and drugs (and becoming a slave to them,) my internal monologue became a voice that continually told me I was worthless, that I wasn't going to achieve anything, that I couldn't achieve anything, that I shouldn't be happy, that I didn't deserve to be happy, that I ought to just die. This is a part of me, telling me that I should die. How insane is that? I am lucky enough to be given life, and somewhere along the lines things get so bad that a part of me begins to tell me to kill my self.
However, there is good news! You can change. I changed, and I continue to change every day (it is the one constant in a rather inconsistent life.) You can change that little voice in your head or at least learn to evaluate it's message and make better choices. You CAN DO amazing things, and quit listening to the internal voice tells you that you WILL DO mediocre or safe things. I don't know if there is a secret recipe to changing the internal monologue, however, recognizing it's message and strength is the first step. When that voice turns up the volume, and is controlling your thinking, you need to ask yourself, why? Be aware of this voice, and evaluate it's message. If you don't like its message then simply say, "I don't like your message," and move on - go for it.
I don't know how to make the world a better place, however, I know that I can be a better person. If I change, the world changes - even if just by a fraction. Pay attention to your internal monologue, don't let it inhibit the person you could be or want to be - tell the inner monologue to shove it, and do the opposite of what it tells you to do. This is a practice that will take time and repetition, and won't be changed over night. It took years to program it to where it is now, the reverse process can be quicker, especially if we want change! Just remember - change yourself, change your world.
