MY LIMITING BELIEFS

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.

Some come from ahead and some come from behind.

But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

- Dr. Seuss

Turning your life open to a public forum is not always the wisest of decisions, and in today's world, who knows how people perceive what you say, it's all filtered through our individual experiences anyway.  As those of you who read this writing on a regular basis know, I am working extraordinarily hard to expand my comfort zone, and grow.  Now, it's not an altruistic growth that I'm seeking to capture; I am looking to improve myself in areas that directly affect my ability to advance my career and business enterprises.  The funny thing is, my personal short comings, things that many would believe are more about emotional or "personal life," are some of the biggest obstacles to my success in entrepreneurship and business growth.  I believe we often think that the two are separate, but when you are truly trying to build your own company, your own organization, it goes part and parcel with the person - the limitations you place on yourself are the same limitations you place on your success in business.

One of the activities I'm tackling right now is to identify two limiting beliefs that are holding me back in life.  This is not an easy task, but perhaps not for the reasons you may believe.  Identifying a limiting belief is like using a match to find a needle in a hay stack.  It might work, but things are going to get hot quickly.  As I dig deep down, and look for those things that keep me from achieving all of my goals and dreams, I find some smoldering embers.  Embers that no one likes to rekindle, that are best left to burn at a low temp.  Again, the problem is, if I want to become the person I know I can be, the person that I dream of being, I have to face my character defects, let them blaze, and find the courage to take on that fire.

On first look, as I cruised down the dawning road on my drive to work, I started to see some of the limiting beliefs that were holding me back.  Looking out across the cornfields the first thing to sprout in my head was, that I'm not tough enough, I'm not manly enough, and in order to be successful in business you must be hard and tough with people.  I've always felt that I was too soft, and have often been accused of being slightly effeminate.  In my mind, buried deep in implanted stereotypes, men are tough and demand what they want.  I scribbled frantically on the yellow legal pad to my right, trying to not swerve into the snow covered corn stub stalks or go head on into on coming traffic, as this ancient belief comes rising to the surface.  

Where was this belief instilled?  Why do hold on to it so tightly?  This can't be healthy.  I've been told most of my life that I'm sensitive and caring, that I express myself well.  While this may true, I certainly don't see it as an asset.  I often feel weak due to this quality.  The fact is, somewhere along the lines, I linked up manliness to being tough, strong, fit, demanding, even a bit rough.  And, I am not any of those qualities.  At least not that I can see.

My left hand on the wheel, my elbow on the window ledge of my car, the sun popping up over the horizon, I felt a bit woozy, like I had just uncorked a Genie that I didn't want any part of seeing.  Unfortunately, you can't close the tab on an open can of shook pop, so the other limitations began to flow.

I began to see that I hold the limiting belief that talking to new people is painful, and they always see me as weak.  The internal monologue fires up and I immediately think: I don't have anything of value to offer to people, I'm not interesting, nor can I sustain a new conversation.  In other words, it scares the crap out of me to talk with new people.  I can't even begin to describe how horribly this internal monologue is going to negatively impact my business, and networking abilities!

I almost had to laugh, as those thoughts came bubbling to the surface of my mind.  On some levels I feel so confident.  As I hammer away on these keys I feel like I'm Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone.  The funniest part of all of this is that I love speaking and talking in front of large groups of people.  I get juiced to stand up and hold court with a room full of people.  It is the intimate 1 on 1 conversation with a new person that eludes me, that makes me feel "less than."

My left leg bounces quickly on the ground, not to any beat, but rather like a woodpecker against a tree.  I often wonder if I have adult ADD.  I know I have many other limiting beliefs, and it will be my pleasure to share how I break through those limiting beliefs. 

Rapid Fire Day

It's 5am, alarm goes off, and I'm shot out of a cannon, and spinning through my day.  The snow is falling, the coffee is calling, and I'm already worried about skidding off the road.  Wait, I should probably get in the shower before I decide to crash my car; it's only prudent.  I wouldn't want to be unkempt if I needed to be rescued or given an ambulance ride.

For many of us, the mind shoots off like this, in a sky rocket the second the eyes pop open.  We are in a state of fast forward, thinking and living at a pace that often has us processing our day as we put our heads on the pillow.  I understand, we all have busy lives, but as the cliche goes: you have to stop and smell the flowers.  Most of us are always going to be busier than we have time to be, but that's ok, that's life.  It's how each moment flows into the next that makes a difference.  It's what I choose to do with each moment that matters. 

I can be a strange bird, I write down some of the most basic things on a  "to-do" list every day.  My list of things to accomplish starts off like this:

1. Wake up at 5am - I need to remind myself that waking up early is important or I'm apt to take a couple of snoozes, and find myself "running late."
2. Take shower - See above, if I'm running late, I "sink shower," and it always makes me feel crummy.
3. Make coffee - I'm not sure I need this reminder, but if I forgot, I might as well go back to bed.
4. Eat breakfast - A habit that puts me in the right frame of mind, and kick starts my metabolism for the day.  I've lost more weight since eating breakfast, than I ever did before.

Now, I could go on with my mundane list of "to-do's."  However, the point is, I need to to stay consistent and I need to release my mind to concentrate on new ideas and new concepts.  Most people have their routines, but I know for myself, that I need to be very clear on what I want to accomplish each day.  When I'm clear on where I want to go each day, I tend to get there quicker and accomplish ten-fold more, then when I rely on my habits of pattern.  I can also begin to focus my desire towards future accomplishments. 

One of the greatest benefits to writing out, and scheduling my day, even in the most mundane of fashions, is that I am able to create the time, that used to be filled with the grumbling sentiment, "I don't have the time."  When I look at the time that I'm using under a microscope, I seem to find more and more moments to use.  Frankly, and I DO mean to be so bold, most of us waste time, and we know it!  I am working very hard to mash my "couch potato" moments and utilize my time to grow and educate myself in ways that propel me to greater personal freedoms.  Right now, I'm working very hard to get educated in money and finance (a future blog no doubt!)

My friends at Just Credit Solutions sent me a handout that had the 26 biggest myths of credit.  Now, I'm sure most people know more than I do about their financial situation, and I know that most people are far more educated than I am when it comes to being credit worthy.  However, these 26 myths are eye opening statements that I would have never had the chance to learn, had I not decided to find the time in my day to make more happen. 

I am dedicated to building an amazing life for my wife and children, and we are stronger because we are shaping our destiny by the actions we take today.  I don't know if most people function like this on a daily basis, but I know that since I decided to leave my comfort zone, address my issues (a softer word for problems or deficits,) and create my life, I have found my self-esteem and personal empowerment shooting through the roof.  It's a greate feeling, knowing that you're breaking personal barriers and growing,
Click Here to learn what myth I learned about today!

Until next time, be well and live inspired!

Michael Cordin
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LOST HOPE!

It's day 10 of the new year, and I suspect that quite a few resolutions have burst into flames.  I suspect that there are many of you stepping out into your cold garage, taking elevators down to the lobby, huddling en-mass puffing just one more cigarette.  Do I dare ask?  How is the diet going?  Are you "loving it," or is McDonalds' cash register ringing once again?  Maybe your poison is a double whopper with cheese.  Have you asked for the promotion this year?  Did you get your raise or even ask for it?  Don't you deserve it?  Yea, the economy sucks, but it's going to be in the toilet for a long time, and when you want something you need to make sure that you ask for it. 

We cannot receive what we do not believe we deserve!  And we will never receive what we do not ask for.  I'm not here judge, well at least not too much.  What gets in our way when we stop short?  What limits you in your pursuit of a healthier body?  A more robust bank account? 

For most of us the answer is the diabolical and insidious four letter word, FEAR!  A very good friend of mine told me, "all negative emotions arise from fear."  "We are either afraid of losing something we have, or not getting something we want."  It has been often said that a man will fight twice (if not more) as hard to protect $25,000 than earn $25,000. 

Fear is a debilitating disease.  It causes apathy, anxiety, resentment, depression, sickness and poverty.  Perhaps the most cunning aspect of fear is that it masquerades as a myriad of other behaviors- pride, lust, jealousy, gluttony, and anger, to just name a few.  Examine closely your last negative emotion, your last blow up with another, your last tirade with a co-worker, and you will find FEAR at the root of your problem.  Fear of someone taking your wife, your job, your husband, your money, your integrity, your... and continue to fill in the blank.  Can we really be so fragile in mental capacities to be commanded by an idea?  Are we so weak as to not be able to see through the veil of fear and strike it down with our greatest of weapons?

The greatest enemy FEAR has ever known and will know is, GRATITUDE.  The act of gratitude is the lance that pierces the heart of fear.  When we remember to live in gratitude we are placing our minds into a state that is not compatible with fear.  These two states of mind are nearly opposite and therefore cannot exist at the same time.  Every day I try to work on those fears that most dominate my life.  My fear of economic ignorance has pushed me into getting an education.

What drives my fear away today is the gratitude of working on building a truly bountiful life in all ways.  I am working with a company to come to grips with my financial education (or lack there of) and build a credit profile that will allow me to continue building my business.  Just Credit Solutions is opening my mind and teaching me how my poor choices, have lead to poor credit and lead to higher cost of living.  I'm embarrassed at how little I actually understand about my financial life.  I am ready to tackle my financial issues head on and lose the chronic fear of not understanding my debt and how to move forward.  I know I am not alone in that arena, and I hope others who need help can drop their egos just long enough to reach out for help.

One of my resolutions of the new year is to build my XOWii business, and I'm doing it, day by day!  I'm using it as a part of my own personal testimonial in weight loss.  I am taking a 4 pronged approach to weight loss this year:

1. XOWii Think Drink, Vanilla Thin Shake, and Ultimate
2. myfitnesspal.com (online calorie counter and fitness tracker program)
3. Exercise 30 minutes 4 - 5 times per week
4. Biggest Loser competition at work (greatest percentage of weight loss wins the kitty)

Anyone can achieve any goal if they put sufficient desire and effort into what they want.  It takes dedication, day by day.  We cannot allow ourselves to fall victim to our fears, our worries, and stopping short.  I've said it before, and I believe it to be absolutely true - most people quit right before they reach break-through! 

When people are ready to change their lives, they still won't; it is only after their personal required amount of pain, will they even consider a change.  I know that making changes is scary, but isn't not changing even scarier.  Reach out if you need help, don't wait, and don't let the problem get bigger.

Until next time, be well and live inspired.

Michael Cordin
michael.cordin@integrated-affiliates.com
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ARE YOUR KIDS IN A BOX?

When I began writing this blog (a word I'm not sure I really like,) I thought that I would stay away from world issues, and focus more on my personal experience and growth, and how we can all make little changes every day. I stumbled across a video while doing some research for another topic, and I simply could not stop watching. Ken Robinson states exactly what we in education all think (at least those of us with brains.) Our system is antiquated and we are doing our students a massive disservice when we continue to push them in boxes that they were never meant to call home. This video gets me totally fired up, and helps me to remember that there are people out there, with a voice, that make powerful statements (even if the likelihood of things changing is as remote as government not wasting our money.)

Unfortunately, I know that most people (for the few that actually read this rag,) will not take the 20 minutes to watch. The speech is given by Ken Robinson, who is quickly becoming a hero as I listen to him speak. This isn't by any means a departure from what my purpose is at, AFTER THE BEEP. If anything, as I watch it over again, I realize how it is intimately related to how I see our capacity as human beings, how I see our ability to be the greatest versions of ourselves, if we just stop and do what we're meant to do.

Please take this time and watch the video by Ken; it's funny and very poignant!

From ted.com

Why don't we get the best out of people? Sir Ken Robinson argues that it's because we've been educated to become good workers, rather than creative thinkers. Students with restless minds and bodies -- far from being cultivated for their energy and curiosity -- are ignored or even stigmatized, with terrible consequences. "We are educating people out of their creativity," Robinson says. It's a message with deep resonance. Robinson's TEDTalk has been distributed widely around the Web since its release in June 2006. The most popular words framing blog posts on his talk? "Everyone should watch this."

COMMIT OR DON'T, IT'S YOUR CHOICE

“A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.” - Ayn Rand

Frankly, commitment is hard. Most people fail miserably at their commitments or do them so haphazardly that they can hardly be considered a commitment. How do I know this – through extensive research? Not hardly. Experience has taught me that commitment is frightening, and we are prone to stretching ourselves to thin or not cultivating the burning desire necessary to sustain the commitment.

However, over the years I have developed a growing ability to see those necessary components to holding to commitments. When I was a smoker, I would often quit, try hard, but fail to sustain my non-smoking life for some reason or excuse. It came to pass that what I was missing was the “fire” to stay quit. As a behavior and habit that is so ingrained in the everyday actions of a person, it is almost essential to relearn everything I’ve done with smoking without it being present. This is a very daunting task.

We weave our emotions in with certain commitments, and leave it out of others. If we look closely at the commitments we keep, we will find that they are saddled with emotion – that we have connected ourselves intimately with the “need” or desire to do stay focused.

The funny think about quitting a habit like smoking, our any other addiction for that matter, is that logic is one of the poorest motivators for stopping. Logically speaking, no one would ever choose to smoke, choose to do drugs, to choose to be an alcoholic. It doesn’t make sense. However, these horrible commitments are often died for, and fought for with a reservoir of energy that most healthy people don't put into any are of their life! For most people who lack the ability to commit to a change or to adopt a new way of thinking, it is essential to form an emotional bond with the change. More importantly, this bond must not be based on another’s needs, it must be personal. How many times did I say, “I should quit smoking for my kids’ sake? I want them to have a healthy father as they grow up.”

I wasn’t ever going to release myself from a negative behavior, or commitment, until I did it for myself. I wasn’t going to create a lasting change until I saw how I as a person was being limited in my life from this commitment.

Lasting commitment, in anything we try to remove, change, add or become a part of, comes when the following criteria are successfully defined:

1. What is the pain I associate with not committing

2. What is the pleasure I receive by not committing

3. What is the cost (short term and long term) to not committing

4. What will I gain (in all areas of my life) by committing

Now this is not revolutionary thinking or questioning, in fact it’s not even mine, (thanks A.R.) however, sometimes we just need to see it reframed from a different perspective, in order to understand.

Whatever it is that we decide to commit to, we need to take action steps to make whatever it is happen. To simply say that we want “X” to happen means nothing; it is only when we make a choice and take action to realize that “X” that things begin to change.

My aim here isn’t to give anyone a road map or give them all of the little nuances to making a change in their life. My aim is simply to help people understand that they can make a choice. I am not a guru or spiritual leader, nor am I an expert in what motivates people to more from apathy to action.

What I am experiencing in my life is a total change of direction. I have often viewed myself as an active participant, living an active life. I woke up, or rather I was woken up to the fact that survival, or just getting by, is not a way to live. I don’t have simply “just make it.” I can do anything, and I can change my direction and circumstance at any given moment. Not that it will change over-night; however, the pieces of my vision for myself will begin to fit themselves into the mental condition that I choose. I firmly believe that we choose what we experience in life. We create our present circumstance on what we attract through our thinking, and translate it through our actions.

Yes, life happens, but I do not need to be run over by it or dominated by it. All of the curve balls, and brush back pitches only make me more focused on the hanging breaking ball sitting like a meatball in the middle of the plate, waiting for me to knock the snot out of it. Sure, I may get knocked down, but I’m just as sure to dust myself off – I’m committed to my at bat – are you?

I choose to commit to a brighter self, a bright more economically bountiful future. I choose to grow, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I choose to be an even more attentive father, husband, and son. I will do those things that take me to higher joys of living. I won’t be saddled by doubt or fear, I will cultivate prosperity.

Until next time…be well and live inspired,

Michael
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Tuesday's 3P's: Patience - Perseverance - Persistence

It's Tuesday morning, and the alarm rings somewhere in my dream bringing me out into another morning.  The first choice - to snooze or not to snooze?  Shakespeare asked a similar question, but mine is much more relative.  The first day after, the first day of the new week, is often the "dead" day in the week.  It's a, just-get-me-through-this, mentality that seems to pervade.  However, somewhere in Tuesday is a great lesson. Tuesday is just a name given to a day in the week, and whatever importance or non-importance I assign to it, is what it will be.  It is what we do with this day called Tuesday that is important, that is why we ought discipline ourselves in in the practice of patience, perseverance, and persistence. 

Those three words are some of the most inspiring words in our language.  They allow us to deal with life on life's terms, and know that everyday might not be sunshine and lollipops, rainbows and lemon drops, but it can be put to use purposefully.  The black cloud only hangs over my head when I allow. 

Patience is a practice that many pray for, but never figure out.  Prayers are often said in vein, "God give me patience!"  Simply put, patience is something you do, not that you have.  Patience isn't one man's gift and an other's foil.  Patience is a choice.  Patience is looking deep within and asking yourself, how do I want to feel?  If I want to lack patience, I will experience the corresponding emotions - anger, frustration, and irritability.  If I choose patience, I also get the corresponding emotions: peace, usefulness, and compassion.  When we practice patience, we open our ears, and hear others in an entirely new way.  We are looking for the words between the words, and seeing where we can be of most assistance. 

The woman without the pen, using the check book, in the 20 items or less line, becomes not a nuisance, but rather someone we lend our pen to, someone we ask if they need help getting their groceries to their car, someone we ask "how can I be of assistance?" 

Perseverance is one of my favorite words, because it shows the mettle we are made of, it shows our dedication to whatever we are pursuing with passion and desire.  It shows the willingness we posses to endure during the tough times, as well as the good times.  People who persevere are some of our greatest leaders, as long as they emerge from the embers a roaring fire when the time is right.  People who in this position share with us their stories of how they got through those rough moments in their life, how they managed to see optimism under the darkest of circumstances. 

Many years ago I faced some of the darkest moments of my life.  I was at that beautiful cliche known as the cross-roads.  One direction lead to my ultimate demise, and the other to a very scary but life changing unknown.  Only through what I can deem Divine intervention can I say that I chose the scary path of redemption and possibility.  I certainly was so soot covered and charred from the life I was living; my best thinking, without the aid of something greater than me, could only have chosen demise.  The path of perseverance is not easy, and most people quit just feet before the break-though line.  Always so close, and yet somewhere inside they lack the self-esteem, worth, value to finish.  People who persevere finish!

The persistence of the finisher is what separates him or her from the quitter.  The word quitter is harsh, but many of us fall into this category, and at some point in life we all choose to quit, instead of persevere.  However, it is because of practice and discipline that the person who finishes what they start becomes so good at persevering.  The duration of time finishers spend in problems becomes less and less, and they learn to move immediately to solutions, immediately to action, and immediately to opportunities.  They do not see the challenge posed by life as obstacles but rather as questions to solved, riddles to be unraveled, lions to be tamed.

Any one of us can become accomplished in the 3P's.  It doesn't take any special character or upbringing.  What it takes is a choice to unlearn past habits.  What it takes is a choice to do something different - to react different, to flip the rubric's cube to the other side, and see what's going on.  Life cannot be mastered by looking at things from one side.  We must choose the 3P's.  We must choose to be disciplined in our thoughts and actions.  We must think before we speak, and act.  We must harmonize and tune in our beliefs, our words, and our actions.

Until next time, be well and live inspired,

Michael
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Monday's Inspiration:The Morning Drive

"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession...  Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Emerson certainly wasn't the first to think of the idea that when you do what you are supposed to do, what you're meant to do, you are fulfilling your purpose in life.  Now, I understand that we all must work or have a job or otherwise earn some form of money; and we are not all going to be able to make a career out of our purpose.  However, I do suggest that if you are not doing your purpose in some form of your life, you are cheating yourself.

Inspired people do inspired things.  They attract people who are inspirational, and they build on the good feelings that come from the cycle of fulfilling their inspiration.  The funny thing about inspiration is that it can come at any time, from anywhere, and often sneaks up and is gone before most people ever saw its face.

My morning drive to work is one of those inspirational moments that I get to appreciate, if I choose to do so, almost every day. I travel on open country road, down 126 through cornfields, and farms.  Yes they still exist.  My commute has me on my way at the true crack of dawn, when the blue black of night breaks, and the warm tangerines come breaking across the horizon.  There is a corner farm I see every day that has dairy cows, and I look forward to every Spring.  The calves run and play, while moms mow the wide open fields.  It is hokey, and sometimes it feels like another world, and that's a good thing.  These moments transport me to a place of infinite possibility and appreciation; some of my most inspired thoughts come during these hours.

I don't know a better way to start off a day.  Even during thunderstorms my drive is pure awe.  There's something magical about the wide open space, and sparsely trafficked roads, that opens the mind to all of the divine wonders and capacities that each new day brings.  It is often with mild discomfort that I begin to see the traffic lights and know that I am just minutes from beginning my work day.  I know I must earn a living, however, my burning desire to is to create my life based upon moments like those I experience on my morning drive.  Those moments are real, and untainted by the busyness of life. Creation occurs in those wee hours.

I cultivate the now based upon moments like those I have on the drive, and I apply them to the amazing company my friend and I are building.  You see, we both share a common desire to live life fully and with total appreciation, and when you know what you're meant to do, it's easy to know where to go.  I prepare with a very clear outcome ahead, a specific attainable goal, and I pursue that goal with the same passion that my eyes chase the dawn with every morning on my ride.

Be well, and live inspired.

Michael
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AFTER THE BEEP: Family Matters: The Toy Box

AFTER THE BEEP: Family Matters: The Toy Box: "There are these things that lay around the house that make me smile. A space shuttle that zooms nose up, all willy-nilly, across the f..."

Family Matters: The Toy Box

There are these things that lay around the house that make me smile.  A space shuttle that zooms nose up, all willy-nilly, across the floor at mach speed giggles.  A dinosaur sticker stuck to the bottom of my foot as I cross the floor to go make late night tea.  Is that T-Rex poking his nose around the corner of my big toe?

What is it that we look at, but never see?  What is it that we will often look at as a nuisance, but is really the fabric of our life?  The race track pokes its nose out from under the couch, the baby doll cries from the toy box, as UNO uncrosses its legs to relax.  We ought never forget that we have these beautiful reminders of the memories that we are building every day.  Yes, it would be nice if the kids picked up their toys, and the blankets, and shoes were all put in their places.  Would I love it if the shelves and corners dusted themselves?  Yes.  But, really, what I see every day are the reminders of the most important parts of my life.

Eventually there will be no more Matchbox cars, Mickey Mouse trains, dinosaurs or dragons.  The toy box will be replaced by empty space, and it will not be feng shui, it will be nostalgia and a sense of loss.

Every day my kids leave tracks of who they are, and what they love.  Their footprints are scattered around the house like drips of melting icicles, who too soon will be evaporated into time.  They will drive their cars, and build their dreams, and the scattered items that once frustrated me will become the relics of a time that I will feel I should have cherished like it was my last.  I should have drank in every stuffed toy, and piece of cretaceous era triceratops on paper.  I should have bathed in the blue, green, and grey shopping cart filled with train tracks, and Hot Wheels.  

Staying in the day is a wonderful start to appreciating the moment.  However, true appreciation comes from recognizing the minute details of many of the things that often cause frustration.  Why can't they pick up after themselves without being asked a hundred times? They will pick up, and they will leave; but, not now.  Right now is my time to dive head first in the swimming pool of their fun and fantasy, into their puddles of joy, and I'll teach them a thing or two about picking up.

More importantly, I'll teach them a thing or two about appreciating the details.  I will try and help them see the beautiful dust-bunnies in the corners.  I know they will reject my crazy appreciation of the minor things, but it is in the minor things that everything major is built.  The house isn't popped open from a box, it is every swing of a hammer, every bead of sweat from the builders; it is the copper welds, and the solid foundation.  It is every nail, every bumped head, every curse word uttered by a contractor on a time schedule.  It is the boxes moving in, and out, and every trash bag sitting on the curb.  It is the skinned knees and stubbed toes.  The laughter and tears.  It is every granola wrapper left on the floor that should be picked up with purpose, and remembered as the time I was alive, and appreciated my every breath in this world.


Thank you for reading.  Be well, and live inspired!

Michael
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