COMMIT OR DON'T, IT'S YOUR CHOICE

“A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.” - Ayn Rand

Frankly, commitment is hard. Most people fail miserably at their commitments or do them so haphazardly that they can hardly be considered a commitment. How do I know this – through extensive research? Not hardly. Experience has taught me that commitment is frightening, and we are prone to stretching ourselves to thin or not cultivating the burning desire necessary to sustain the commitment.

However, over the years I have developed a growing ability to see those necessary components to holding to commitments. When I was a smoker, I would often quit, try hard, but fail to sustain my non-smoking life for some reason or excuse. It came to pass that what I was missing was the “fire” to stay quit. As a behavior and habit that is so ingrained in the everyday actions of a person, it is almost essential to relearn everything I’ve done with smoking without it being present. This is a very daunting task.

We weave our emotions in with certain commitments, and leave it out of others. If we look closely at the commitments we keep, we will find that they are saddled with emotion – that we have connected ourselves intimately with the “need” or desire to do stay focused.

The funny think about quitting a habit like smoking, our any other addiction for that matter, is that logic is one of the poorest motivators for stopping. Logically speaking, no one would ever choose to smoke, choose to do drugs, to choose to be an alcoholic. It doesn’t make sense. However, these horrible commitments are often died for, and fought for with a reservoir of energy that most healthy people don't put into any are of their life! For most people who lack the ability to commit to a change or to adopt a new way of thinking, it is essential to form an emotional bond with the change. More importantly, this bond must not be based on another’s needs, it must be personal. How many times did I say, “I should quit smoking for my kids’ sake? I want them to have a healthy father as they grow up.”

I wasn’t ever going to release myself from a negative behavior, or commitment, until I did it for myself. I wasn’t going to create a lasting change until I saw how I as a person was being limited in my life from this commitment.

Lasting commitment, in anything we try to remove, change, add or become a part of, comes when the following criteria are successfully defined:

1. What is the pain I associate with not committing

2. What is the pleasure I receive by not committing

3. What is the cost (short term and long term) to not committing

4. What will I gain (in all areas of my life) by committing

Now this is not revolutionary thinking or questioning, in fact it’s not even mine, (thanks A.R.) however, sometimes we just need to see it reframed from a different perspective, in order to understand.

Whatever it is that we decide to commit to, we need to take action steps to make whatever it is happen. To simply say that we want “X” to happen means nothing; it is only when we make a choice and take action to realize that “X” that things begin to change.

My aim here isn’t to give anyone a road map or give them all of the little nuances to making a change in their life. My aim is simply to help people understand that they can make a choice. I am not a guru or spiritual leader, nor am I an expert in what motivates people to more from apathy to action.

What I am experiencing in my life is a total change of direction. I have often viewed myself as an active participant, living an active life. I woke up, or rather I was woken up to the fact that survival, or just getting by, is not a way to live. I don’t have simply “just make it.” I can do anything, and I can change my direction and circumstance at any given moment. Not that it will change over-night; however, the pieces of my vision for myself will begin to fit themselves into the mental condition that I choose. I firmly believe that we choose what we experience in life. We create our present circumstance on what we attract through our thinking, and translate it through our actions.

Yes, life happens, but I do not need to be run over by it or dominated by it. All of the curve balls, and brush back pitches only make me more focused on the hanging breaking ball sitting like a meatball in the middle of the plate, waiting for me to knock the snot out of it. Sure, I may get knocked down, but I’m just as sure to dust myself off – I’m committed to my at bat – are you?

I choose to commit to a brighter self, a bright more economically bountiful future. I choose to grow, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I choose to be an even more attentive father, husband, and son. I will do those things that take me to higher joys of living. I won’t be saddled by doubt or fear, I will cultivate prosperity.

Until next time…be well and live inspired,

Michael
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Tuesday's 3P's: Patience - Perseverance - Persistence

It's Tuesday morning, and the alarm rings somewhere in my dream bringing me out into another morning.  The first choice - to snooze or not to snooze?  Shakespeare asked a similar question, but mine is much more relative.  The first day after, the first day of the new week, is often the "dead" day in the week.  It's a, just-get-me-through-this, mentality that seems to pervade.  However, somewhere in Tuesday is a great lesson. Tuesday is just a name given to a day in the week, and whatever importance or non-importance I assign to it, is what it will be.  It is what we do with this day called Tuesday that is important, that is why we ought discipline ourselves in in the practice of patience, perseverance, and persistence. 

Those three words are some of the most inspiring words in our language.  They allow us to deal with life on life's terms, and know that everyday might not be sunshine and lollipops, rainbows and lemon drops, but it can be put to use purposefully.  The black cloud only hangs over my head when I allow. 

Patience is a practice that many pray for, but never figure out.  Prayers are often said in vein, "God give me patience!"  Simply put, patience is something you do, not that you have.  Patience isn't one man's gift and an other's foil.  Patience is a choice.  Patience is looking deep within and asking yourself, how do I want to feel?  If I want to lack patience, I will experience the corresponding emotions - anger, frustration, and irritability.  If I choose patience, I also get the corresponding emotions: peace, usefulness, and compassion.  When we practice patience, we open our ears, and hear others in an entirely new way.  We are looking for the words between the words, and seeing where we can be of most assistance. 

The woman without the pen, using the check book, in the 20 items or less line, becomes not a nuisance, but rather someone we lend our pen to, someone we ask if they need help getting their groceries to their car, someone we ask "how can I be of assistance?" 

Perseverance is one of my favorite words, because it shows the mettle we are made of, it shows our dedication to whatever we are pursuing with passion and desire.  It shows the willingness we posses to endure during the tough times, as well as the good times.  People who persevere are some of our greatest leaders, as long as they emerge from the embers a roaring fire when the time is right.  People who in this position share with us their stories of how they got through those rough moments in their life, how they managed to see optimism under the darkest of circumstances. 

Many years ago I faced some of the darkest moments of my life.  I was at that beautiful cliche known as the cross-roads.  One direction lead to my ultimate demise, and the other to a very scary but life changing unknown.  Only through what I can deem Divine intervention can I say that I chose the scary path of redemption and possibility.  I certainly was so soot covered and charred from the life I was living; my best thinking, without the aid of something greater than me, could only have chosen demise.  The path of perseverance is not easy, and most people quit just feet before the break-though line.  Always so close, and yet somewhere inside they lack the self-esteem, worth, value to finish.  People who persevere finish!

The persistence of the finisher is what separates him or her from the quitter.  The word quitter is harsh, but many of us fall into this category, and at some point in life we all choose to quit, instead of persevere.  However, it is because of practice and discipline that the person who finishes what they start becomes so good at persevering.  The duration of time finishers spend in problems becomes less and less, and they learn to move immediately to solutions, immediately to action, and immediately to opportunities.  They do not see the challenge posed by life as obstacles but rather as questions to solved, riddles to be unraveled, lions to be tamed.

Any one of us can become accomplished in the 3P's.  It doesn't take any special character or upbringing.  What it takes is a choice to unlearn past habits.  What it takes is a choice to do something different - to react different, to flip the rubric's cube to the other side, and see what's going on.  Life cannot be mastered by looking at things from one side.  We must choose the 3P's.  We must choose to be disciplined in our thoughts and actions.  We must think before we speak, and act.  We must harmonize and tune in our beliefs, our words, and our actions.

Until next time, be well and live inspired,

Michael
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Monday's Inspiration:The Morning Drive

"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession...  Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Emerson certainly wasn't the first to think of the idea that when you do what you are supposed to do, what you're meant to do, you are fulfilling your purpose in life.  Now, I understand that we all must work or have a job or otherwise earn some form of money; and we are not all going to be able to make a career out of our purpose.  However, I do suggest that if you are not doing your purpose in some form of your life, you are cheating yourself.

Inspired people do inspired things.  They attract people who are inspirational, and they build on the good feelings that come from the cycle of fulfilling their inspiration.  The funny thing about inspiration is that it can come at any time, from anywhere, and often sneaks up and is gone before most people ever saw its face.

My morning drive to work is one of those inspirational moments that I get to appreciate, if I choose to do so, almost every day. I travel on open country road, down 126 through cornfields, and farms.  Yes they still exist.  My commute has me on my way at the true crack of dawn, when the blue black of night breaks, and the warm tangerines come breaking across the horizon.  There is a corner farm I see every day that has dairy cows, and I look forward to every Spring.  The calves run and play, while moms mow the wide open fields.  It is hokey, and sometimes it feels like another world, and that's a good thing.  These moments transport me to a place of infinite possibility and appreciation; some of my most inspired thoughts come during these hours.

I don't know a better way to start off a day.  Even during thunderstorms my drive is pure awe.  There's something magical about the wide open space, and sparsely trafficked roads, that opens the mind to all of the divine wonders and capacities that each new day brings.  It is often with mild discomfort that I begin to see the traffic lights and know that I am just minutes from beginning my work day.  I know I must earn a living, however, my burning desire to is to create my life based upon moments like those I experience on my morning drive.  Those moments are real, and untainted by the busyness of life. Creation occurs in those wee hours.

I cultivate the now based upon moments like those I have on the drive, and I apply them to the amazing company my friend and I are building.  You see, we both share a common desire to live life fully and with total appreciation, and when you know what you're meant to do, it's easy to know where to go.  I prepare with a very clear outcome ahead, a specific attainable goal, and I pursue that goal with the same passion that my eyes chase the dawn with every morning on my ride.

Be well, and live inspired.

Michael
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AFTER THE BEEP: Family Matters: The Toy Box

AFTER THE BEEP: Family Matters: The Toy Box: "There are these things that lay around the house that make me smile. A space shuttle that zooms nose up, all willy-nilly, across the f..."

Family Matters: The Toy Box

There are these things that lay around the house that make me smile.  A space shuttle that zooms nose up, all willy-nilly, across the floor at mach speed giggles.  A dinosaur sticker stuck to the bottom of my foot as I cross the floor to go make late night tea.  Is that T-Rex poking his nose around the corner of my big toe?

What is it that we look at, but never see?  What is it that we will often look at as a nuisance, but is really the fabric of our life?  The race track pokes its nose out from under the couch, the baby doll cries from the toy box, as UNO uncrosses its legs to relax.  We ought never forget that we have these beautiful reminders of the memories that we are building every day.  Yes, it would be nice if the kids picked up their toys, and the blankets, and shoes were all put in their places.  Would I love it if the shelves and corners dusted themselves?  Yes.  But, really, what I see every day are the reminders of the most important parts of my life.

Eventually there will be no more Matchbox cars, Mickey Mouse trains, dinosaurs or dragons.  The toy box will be replaced by empty space, and it will not be feng shui, it will be nostalgia and a sense of loss.

Every day my kids leave tracks of who they are, and what they love.  Their footprints are scattered around the house like drips of melting icicles, who too soon will be evaporated into time.  They will drive their cars, and build their dreams, and the scattered items that once frustrated me will become the relics of a time that I will feel I should have cherished like it was my last.  I should have drank in every stuffed toy, and piece of cretaceous era triceratops on paper.  I should have bathed in the blue, green, and grey shopping cart filled with train tracks, and Hot Wheels.  

Staying in the day is a wonderful start to appreciating the moment.  However, true appreciation comes from recognizing the minute details of many of the things that often cause frustration.  Why can't they pick up after themselves without being asked a hundred times? They will pick up, and they will leave; but, not now.  Right now is my time to dive head first in the swimming pool of their fun and fantasy, into their puddles of joy, and I'll teach them a thing or two about picking up.

More importantly, I'll teach them a thing or two about appreciating the details.  I will try and help them see the beautiful dust-bunnies in the corners.  I know they will reject my crazy appreciation of the minor things, but it is in the minor things that everything major is built.  The house isn't popped open from a box, it is every swing of a hammer, every bead of sweat from the builders; it is the copper welds, and the solid foundation.  It is every nail, every bumped head, every curse word uttered by a contractor on a time schedule.  It is the boxes moving in, and out, and every trash bag sitting on the curb.  It is the skinned knees and stubbed toes.  The laughter and tears.  It is every granola wrapper left on the floor that should be picked up with purpose, and remembered as the time I was alive, and appreciated my every breath in this world.


Thank you for reading.  Be well, and live inspired!

Michael
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JUST DO IT, AND DO IT NOW!

"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" 

- Émile Coué

A New Year, a new set of goals?  Not really.  Most of us have goals in our mind at all points of every year.  What makes the New Year so appealing to try and put those plans into action is the idea of a fresh start, a clean slate.  While this is noble, and worth while in pursuit, I challenge all who read this to see each day a New Year's day!  

Every day on waking should live the breath of a new moment in our history on which we can make those much needed personal improvements.  None among us is so perfected that we don't have things about ourselves which we cannot change or do better.  Waking in the morning should be the genesis of inspiration.  If starting a diet yesterday didn't happen when you tore open the package of Oreos last night, why not today?  If quitting smoking has eluded you, then why not today?   If repairing relationships with family or friends is renting space in your head, then it is time to evict those ugly tenants!  

Each day is opportunity (please refer to my previous post on the beauty of opportunity!)  Each day is a gift to do whatever we set our minds to doing.  The problem, if you're anything like me is, how do I get started?  How do I do it?  There is no simpler answer than this: Just do it!  Stop making excuses, the timing will never be right, and the longer it goes unchanged, the longer it negatively impacts our self-esteem.  We become mired in negative self-talk, and believe ourselves to be failures.  The fact is, you cannot fail at anything unless you try, and once you've tried, you are no longer a failure; even if the outcome isn't as you expected.  You see, the winning is in the attempt.  The victory is in the dedication and persistence to do whatever it takes to change. 

I could go on ad nauseam  about how we go about accomplishing any of our resolutions, however, the best speech ever given on how we achieve our goals, our resolutions, our desires, our purpose has already been given, by billionaire Art Williams:

Work in progress

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."
-Marianne Williamson 

The greatest quotes are the ones that are self-evident.  It's not that they are not profound, but it's that they reveal universal truths about human nature.  It is assumed that some how we all abide or listen to our nature, but rather I find that we most often try and avoid our human nature or at the very least distract ourselves from it.

What is it about expectations that causes anxiety?  It would seem that when we have the capacity to be great, we should fulfill it at every given moment.  However, how many people can say that they live and perform to their ultimate capacity everyday?

I know that for myself I often find that I work to my ability, but not my capacity.  I started this blog to push myself at my writing.  I love to write, and I love words; yet so often I find myself going months without putting meaningful thought down to (virtual) paper.  Is it a lack of something to say?  No.  It's allowing life to take over and dominate my routine.  I can at any instant add something into my life if I maintain a burning desire for its fruition.

You see, we all have passion for something.  We are all greater than what we do.  However, we most often get side tracked by life into doing those things that are part of the routine, and believe me the routine for many of us is so weighty that when we do get any hours that are personal we simply want to "veg-out," and "chill."

Right now, my son is sleeping, and I am writing.  I am on winter break from my j.o.b., and I could be using this time to pick-up the house, organize the bills or clean out a closet.  But I am not!  I am doing what makes me fulfilled.  How often do you think that we take time to do what makes us fulfilled?  Yes, my kids fulfill my life in many amazing ways, and yes my wife is simply astounding, however, this doesn't speak to my inner desire to create, make, or do something that is intrinsically mine (probably because somebody told me somewhere along the lines that this is "selfish," which is just hogwash.) 

The funny thing is, that as I age, I learn that my time is valuable and needs to be focused.  I spend a little time each day building a business, blogging, playing with my kids, talking with my wife, even work on the j.ob. outside of work (which is cruel and unusual punishment when you're a salaried employee!)  The fact is, if I don't push myself, I am easily made lazy.  I am easily sacked by life.

To achieve maximum results in life, I must constantly put out maximum effort.  I must be vigilant and concious of my thoughts, my actions, and my words, and make sure they are in harmony.  I must write down what I want to accomplish, when I should accomplish it by, and what results I would like to manifest from this effort.  Now, this is not something that I've been doing my whole life, but rather, something I've started to apply over the last year.  I am constantly derailed in my effort to stay focused.  Does this mean I should stop?

Here is where most of us find our perception of failure.  We stop doing what is good for us, because we can't sustain it at the level we expect from oursleves.  We often think, "if I can't do it the best from the start, I'm not going to do it at all."  And, we quit.  It happens to me or rather it use to happen to me.  Now, when I see that I'm not doing something, that I was previously doing and achieving resluts, that I know are beneficial to my life and my well being, instead of saying, "what's the point," I turn it back on and start doing it again.  Life isn't a series of do it once and I'm an expert, but rather it is a series of practices, and disciplines, that I fully acknowledge I will do inconsistantly until a habit has been formed, and it (whatever it is) becomes integral and automatic to my daily functioning.

I have often considered myself an author who doesn't write.  Every time I go back to writing I feel better, like somehow I am fulfilling part of my full capacity.  My question to you is, what can you do that you don't do?  What part of your full(filling) capacity do you ignore on a daily basis, and how do you get it back in your life?

Please feel free to respond, and know that I am simply a voice, practicing a craft, that I believe will reach out into the universe and change how we approach life.  I want us all to achieve maximum results, and know that each day, when I put my head on the pillow, that I can say to my creator - I did the best I possible could today, thank you for the gift of me!

Be well and live inspired!

Michael Cordin
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